Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
