I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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