she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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