please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
