Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
