so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
