I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
