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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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