Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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