Me. At least after what I've been through.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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