actually, I'm a sock model
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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