I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I am never drinking with the goths again.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Randomize
