just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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