I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
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