Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
It's official drugs can't kill me
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
