you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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