the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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