I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
