and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
