Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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