Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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