Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
