I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize