Yo dont text me then not text me
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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