Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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