You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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