The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize