hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
It was like getting head from an anaconda
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
