This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
