it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
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