What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
