ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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