theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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