We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
