No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
