That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
