see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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