I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
handjob tips. give me some.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
