3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
