one might say we're banned from that church
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
