highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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