dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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