I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize