guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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