what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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