I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
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i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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