allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Randomize
