just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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