White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
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So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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