I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'm getting married
To pizza
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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