first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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