I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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