Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
