if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry