btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
25 Men Talk About the First Time They Went Down On A Woman
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
23 Ex Fraternity Brothers & Sorority Sisters Confess Their Most Insane Stories
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.