So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
