CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
we're making bets on your personal life
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
